THE MOTHER’S AWAKENING

THE MOTHER’S AWAKENING

She carefully tied her silk scarf to match her navy blue suit, slung her brown bag over her arm, and slipped on her shoes. She looked in the mirror.

Hair? Head? Glasses? All good?

She nodded. She was ready for her daughter’s first parent-teacher meeting. She locked the door and pressed the elevator button. As it went down, she whispered, “Here we go.” She got in her car, turned the key, and the CD started playing right where it left off.

“…I'll wrap you up in cotton I'll swaddle you in shawls

I won't ask for a price, nor will I demand an account

I won't tire your beautiful heart with  complaints

Don't hold back your sweet words

I'll wrap you up in cotton I'll swaddle you in shawls

I won't ask for a price, nor will I...

Memories on the Way

On her way to school, she remembered the day her daughter was born. All the pain had been worth it; she had never felt anything like it. Babyhood, crawling, first steps, teething… it all ran through her mind like a movie.

The trips to the ER when she had a fever… the sleepless nights pacing the corridor because of teething… She looked in the rearview mirror and thought, “When did she grow up so fast? Time flies!”

Every memory left its mark on Mine, and she cherished them all.

At School

The school entrance was busy. Parents were eager to hear feedback about their kids. Some scanned the walls to find their meeting rooms, while others helped each other.

The meeting was on the second floor, in Room G. She slipped away from the crowd and headed for the stairs. She found her place, looked inside through the window, saw it was available, and knocked on the door. The classroom teacher and the school counselor greeted Mine with a smile. She was sure she would hear good things. She had cherished her since the day she was born. Language classes, piano lessons, sports activities... She had provided her with the best opportunities. She had bought her daughter everything she wanted, and sometimes even things she didn't want. She had almost everything. 

Reflecting on Childhood

Mine had a tough childhood. Her family barely made ends meet. After rent and bills, there wasn’t much left. They couldn’t grant every wish. She grew up with just a few toys that had been passed down from generation to generation. Plus, she had to grow up fast when her siblings came along one after another. She had heard the word “no” many times at a very young age. She had taken on responsibilities where her mother couldn't keep up and had taken care of her siblings' needs. From childhood, she felt “restricted.” She was trying to prevent her daughter from experiencing what she had gone through.

She never considered having a second child so she wouldn't have to say “no” to her only daughter. When she was pregnant, she would say, “I've heard so many no's, I'll say yes to whatever my child wants.” She kept her word. Most of the time, her daughter came first.

The Tough Feedback

The teacher took a deep breath and spoke calmly:

"Your daughter is a very energetic child. She is quite talented in physical activities. However, we are experiencing some problems at school. Ecrin has difficulty getting along with her friends. When she doesn't get what she wants, she becomes irritable and starts crying. She has trouble following rules and sometimes damages property. We have it under control for now, but it may become more difficult in the future. This situation may cause difficulties for you and other teachers."

Mine struggled to comprehend what she was hearing.

She thought to herself, “I've put in so much effort, how could this be?” but remained silent.

Seeing Mine's eyes fill with tears, the counselor spoke up.

“We're not saying this to hurt you, but to find a solution together. We don't want Ecrin to struggle with friendships in the future. Let's talk about your parenting style at home, let us support you. Let's work together. We will definitely find a solution, don't worry,” she said.

Walking to her car, Mine felt crushed.

“All this effort… and this is what I hear? I did everything for her happiness!”

Yet, Ecrin was apparently irritable, spoiled, and sometimes destructive. At home, it was no different. She threw tantrums if things didn’t happen her way, sometimes throwing toys. And in the end, she always got what she wanted.

What had gone wrong? Where had she messed up?
There was silence in the car. How had she not seen it until someone pointed it out?

Lessons from Her Own Childhood

She thought about her own childhood. Hearing “no” had made her mature… She used to make games out of plastic bags and sew dolls from old fabric. She had learned to produce with what she had in hand. Her maturity had come from facing challenges.

She remembered her childhood chores:

• Carrying the salt to the table
• Collecting siblings’ dirty clothes
• Tidying up
• Keeping her toys organized
• Soaping her belly while her mom shampooed her hair
• Tying her shoes at age five
• Playing nicely with friends at school

Reflecting, she realized she hadn’t given her daughter the chance to do similar things, to learn responsibility, or the satisfaction of small achievements. She hadn’t taught Ecrin the “price” of life. Instead of producing, her daughter was mostly consuming. But wasn’t the secret to happiness in producing?

And as the teachers said, no one would wrap her daughter in cotton like she had…

Returning home, Mine parked in the garage. She looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were teary, but her face showed determination.

“Something needs to change,” she said to herself.

This time, along with all the “yes” she would also learn to say “no.”

She knew from her own past as well that love becomes more real when we also learn to say “no.”

Since the beginning of humanity, Our greatest friend and enemy has remained the same: The person in the mirror...

"Experiential Design Teaching" is dedicated to help humans discover their true purpose. It guides people toward open consciousness to make better decisions and choices. It offers strategies for real solutions to real problems.

The programs that begin with “Who’s Who,” followed by “Mastery in Relationships” and “The Psychology of Success,” aim to help people become happier and more successful compared to their past selves.